Unless you want to break down crying, do not listen to this with rainymood.
Oh I forgot that
- My 19 year old cat (aka the love of my life) is dying and I can’t do anything to help her.
- My dog is slowly dying. Both of them probably won’t last another 6 months.
- My grandma has had 7 pre-cancers removed on her skin and they just keep finding more so I’m terrified of what could be lying below the skin.
- My brother doesn’t seem to care about our family anymore.
aaaand that’s all I feel like writing because it’s making me more depressed
So I typed out like 5 pages of what is going on with me and blah blah blah blah. These are the conclusions I have come to:
- I have relapsed into another depression. This is my third (severe) episode in 4 years.
- I am incredibly lonely.
- The only person I can really talk to is my therapist.
- I am utterly lost and confused.
- I sleep all the time. I cry all the time. I am sad all the time.
- Thoughts of self harm have started to surface again.
- I miss my parents more than I ever have in my entire life.
- I fee like I am on a slow, yet progressive decline into darkness.
- I think I need to go back on meds.
- I am absolutely terrified that I am going to be nothing but a failure to myself, my family and the world.
That is all. Thanks for listening.